chills.

Its the middle of november and as i sit in my house i have on gloves and a winter coat. The struggle of not being able to pay the bill is taking its toll on my mom. She just wants to make sure i have what i need, and right now we dont have heat, havent been able to afford it for a couple of years. It sucks i never thought i could be so cold while sitting within a house. I love the snow i think it is absolutely beautiful, but the chill it brings with it is colder than the temperature itself. I watch my mom drink away the pain as i sit there and watch, shes hiding everything so that i feel safe, but as i watch her i feel worried. Worried that were stuck here with no one to help. She fights her lawsuit against her work in hopes to get the money they have been withholding. She has yet another surgery coming up and im scared. So scared. The thing that hurts the most is the fact that i hold it all in because she wont talk about it and if i was to break down in front of my friends i would be showing my weakness, the weakness ive tried so long to hide. Hidden beneath the smile that shadows all the pain on my face. Ugh, honestly it feels good to at least admit that im scared :) whooo now i need a tissue.

“” The most beautiful things in life always have a contrasting element of danger.”’ Anything worth having is going to be hard to get and there are going to be obstacles along the way that make you want to turn back, but those obstacles let you know that you’re doing something right. If it’s easy it wont last.” - Brandon Wronski

Words to live by, now i see why there music is so great, and why i love that band so much.

Lifes a rocky road, but in the end its worth it.