Downs.
I’ve decided its about time that my life has an up moment. Everybody always says life is full of up and downs. Well with the amount of downs ive had i think its my turn to be happy and have an amazing UP moment in my life. In the duration of these last 5 years i have seen half of my family be put in a cop car. I stood as my brothers sheild while he was getting stabbed in the jugular(i wasnt a very good sheild.) with a 40oz. glass beer bottle. I have had EVERY single murray cop at my house. I have been told to find somewhere to go at 3:00 in the morning or i was going to detention seeing as i was a minor and my family was going to jail for public disturbance. I have seen many fights were people get seriously hurt. I have had people close to me die. I have sat in a federal prison and testified to keep a man in prison, this i have to do again in this next year seeing as they didnt find my testimony to their liking at that moment. I have cried myself to sleep many a nights. I no longer talk to my father. My mother has threatened to commit suicide many times. Ive spent the night in the hospital with lots of family memebers.I sit in a freezing cold house because we cant afford the rent. Watched my mom sit in pain as she fights a lawsuit against her workplace to get her injury comp. Thing is im a good kid. I have NEVER done drugs i dont drink i get GOOD grades. I have never sluffed school and even the sheer idea of doing this makes me feel like im doing something wrong. I have had the worry that next months rent is due and we dont have the money.
Everyone thinks im this happy go lucky person because i always smile, what they dont realize is that when you live a life like mine you learn to hide all of the pain that you have within. You learn to always look happy and put on a front. Always smile, Fake it till you make it.
Im ready for all this bad to stop right in its tracks and have a good time, if only for a minute. The only thing holding me together are my friends they know how to make me REALLY smile. I do things i enjoy and have a good time, like going to concerts for EYE ALASKA, THE SUMMER SET, THE SECRET HANDSHAKE, THIS CENTURY, and TONS of others, but once the concert is over, or whatever is holding me together at that moment, it seems that there is nothing to look forward to. I hope that SOON the up part on this rollercoaster of life rolls around and i can enjoy the ride.
